Jul/090
Koala Bears Are Real
Meeting The Koala Bear
I went to a really cool zoo in Australia. They had a koala bear enclosure, where you could pay $30 to enter and hold a koala bear.
Being a lover of cuddly bears, I paid the $30 and went in to pat the bears.
The enclosure was basically an open area with a roof and fake trees. The fake trees had branches from real trees stuck to them. The koala bears would sit in the fake trees and do nothing. I think it was because they’re too fat and lazy.
The ranger-looking lady picked up a bear and gave it to me to hold. I held the soft creature, while my zoo partner snapped some photos.
The koala was so cute. I gave it a leaf and it ate it. It quickly became my favorite bear, knocking the panda bear out of the top spot.
As I fed the koala bear, I commented, “This is now my favorite bear,” to which the ranger lady told me that it actually not a bear but a marsupial. I asked her what the fuck she was on about and she made up some crap about pouches.
What the fuck does that have to do with the koala being a bear? It’s called a koala BEAR. What a stupid bitch!
I called her a stupid bitch and then we started arguing. She told me to stop moving around so much or the koala would become scared. She went to grab the koala bear off me, which made it jump out of my arms and fall to the ground. It then ran away on all fours like a bear.
After they kicked us out of the zoo, I went on the internet to research the koala.
What I Have Found Out About The Koala
On the internet there’s a lot of confused people; They don’t know if it’s a bear or not. Basically, the koala is a bear.
The True Facts
Like most bears, the koala has two legs and two arms. It runs on all fours. I saw that in real-life! Its ears are shaped like bear ears. It has a bear nose. It looks soft and cuddly, like a real bear. It is also fat. All bears are fat. Not all marsupials are fat e.g. the kangaroo. The kangaroo is not a bear. The koala is a bear. FACT.
That’s logic. True FACT.